Own Your Experience is a principle that we believe in and subscribe to here at RPG Obsession. It is a positive affirmation meant to remind players and Game Masters alike to take ownership of the elements of the gaming experience that are within their control, to learn to recognize what those elements are and when they have the opportunity to use them to enrich their games.

One of the greatest strengths of role playing games is the freedom of choice they provide. But often, we all feel ourselves constrained in our ability to control to guide the experience toward a desirable outcome for all involved. This is where the principle of owning your experience comes in, to give you tools to be able to alter the course of those poor experiences so they are more satisfying for everyone at the table.

While all of the content on RPG Obsession provides an array of tools for doing this, there are some core principles you can always look to to enrich your gaming experience.

1. Discernment – Your first step should always be to identify what it is about a gaming experience is not working for you; as part of this consider whether the experience is not working for everyone or just for you. Consider what actions could be taken to address these points of concern, and which of those actions you can take yourself and which require cooperation from others.
2. Grace – Take a moment to take a step back from the situation to consider perspectives beyond your own, to see where others are coming from. Sometimes it becomes apparent that others are impacted by something outside of the game, or that perhaps you are doing that. In either case that realization alone may be enough to change how you feel about the current experience. That will not always be the case; center on what can be done to enrich the game experience for everyone, not what is “wrong” with it currently.
3. Ownership – Take action to address the elements that are making the gaming experience unsatisfying. A key component of this is communication; you have to be able to constructively talk with your group about what you are attempting to do. This is key of course if making this adjustment requires a group effort, but even if taking action on your own it is important to communicate the goal you are trying to accomplish with said action. Focus on the positive, on how you think this will make the experience better for everyone, rather than criticizing the current experience.
4. Acceptance – It is important to accept people and outcomes. Not everyone will have the same gaming style as you, or want the same things out of the gaming experience. And that’s ok. People can make the choice to change in response to you communicating your perspective to them, but you can’t change other people; trying to do so will only frustrate both you and them. If your group is not receptive to the adjustments you would like to try, then you may need to leave that group; and if someone cannot adapt to what the rest of the group is asking, you can ask them to leave. In most cases though a balance can be found as long as there is good faith communication.

Owning your experience never means that your experience should be coming at the cost of someone else’s; that is the antithesis of taking ownership. The Own Your Experience mindset is about enriching the RPG experience for everyone at the table, not just yourself.

Practicing these steps is an ongoing journey for me; I find that I have to remind myself and practice these principles to make them habit. But when I utilize them my players have more fun, and I have more fun as both a GM and player. Hopefully they are able to do the same for you. Let us know in the comments below how you like to enrich your games and Own Your Experience!